Yesterday I gave you some lessons in case you're delusional and think you can be a competitive CrossFitter. Today, it's time to be a little more realistic: what should you takeaway from the Games if you're a spectator?

Wear Stupid Hats



It's not very often that you can legitimately pull off a straw hat like this, so when the opportunity comes up you've gotta take it. Luckily, I wasn't the only one:



There are a lot of stupid hats in that picture, but it's way better than burning and looking like a tomato during the weekend.

Closely related to the usage of dumb hats is...

Be Prepared To Stay Cool

In case you didn't know, it's hot in Los Angeles at the end of July. You can tell because not only were Games athletes dropping like flies during the Murph event, but also everyone is wearing as little clothes as possible.



The CrossFit Games are a great time to dres like you're about to work out or go to the beach or both. This year we even were lucky enough to have a bunch of vendors pull out the Big Ass Fans to attract overheated spectators.



This is a genius tactic to pull people to your space in vendor village considering all anyone is looking for is a little breeze to make the burning stop. Once you get sucked in, it's up to the hired salespeeps to really turn on the charm and get you to buy a battery powered jumprope, 8 way stretch jeans, or chalk proof mascara. 

Try New Things



Vendors at the CrossFit Games are very specifically serving the CrossFit community. Long gone are the days of Panda Express sponsoring the Games and now we have a whole variety of wacky and crazy products aimed at CrossFitters. Your job as a spectator is to try every single one of them.

Even cooler, you get to really hammer in how out of shape you are compared to the Games athletes by visiting the Rogue tent and failing to flip the Pig:



Luckily for that guy, there's probably some electro stim/chiropractic yoga/anaesthetic spray company with a booth just a few feet from there to help him out once he breaks in half trying to flip that thing.

Meet Your Heroes



The CrossFit Games is probably your only chance to rub elbows with those crazy fitness maniacs you follow on Instagram or watch on YouTube, so take advantage of the opportunity. Remember that they're people too...people put on this Earth to entertain you with their insane fitness. Don't hesitate to walk up to them and politely demand a photo because they wouldn't have a protein powder sponsorship if it wasn't for your likes and comments on social media.

Don't Waste Money On More Expensive Tickets



Anyone who's been the Games multiple times will tell you the same thing: If you get stuck on the east side of the tennis stadium you're gonna have a shitty time. It's hot as balls, the sun is directly in your face, and you're surrounded by the farts of a bunch of people who've eaten nothing protein samples for three days. It sucks.

Yes, the energy is great in the tennis stadium, but you know what's better than a lot of energy? Shade, beers, and comfy couches:



It's hard to tell from that photo, but every single person in that room is having a better time than anyone out at the actual stadiums. You're walking distance from a full bar, sitting on a shady couch, and surrounded by Big Ass Fans. It's like being in a better version of your living room. 

To drive the point even further, you get to watch the events from the live stream which is WAY better than actually watching the event itself. The live streams is vetted and controlled by professionals who are adept at finding and highlighting the most interesting and exciting things going on at that moment. On top of that, you get real actual play by play to tell you exactly what's going on. The commentating isn't always great, but that's mainly because there are so many Icelandic competitors that they can't pronounce the names correctly.